In His Grip

I was raised in a Catholic home with very devout parents, went to an all boys Catholic prep school, went on to college for what I hoped would become a career in dentistry. Because of the rigorous schooling that laid ahead of me, I opted to go to the nightclub business, where I was exposed to the sinful sexual side of real life, and that began my insatiable appetite for sex, and if I couldn’t have it..I turned to pornography.

I didn’t need to be saved to know in my heart that what I was doing was filthy, but accepted Jesus during the darkest of that time and the craving went away…for awhile.

Knowing how badly the addiction had taken hold of me a into dark places, I knew that the spiral would get worse, and what I did while in porn, was done to “medicate” what was troubling me a the time and could get worse, if I succumbed to it any longer.

In spite of the fact that I had a gorgeous wife, great business, beautiful home, and drove nice cars, I was miserable inside because of the stresses of the business, and began to use porn again to medicate, and the shame just drove me further into the addiction. Because of the nature of my sin, I felt helplessly trapped, very much alone, because I dare not take this to my pastor, for fear of being thrown out and exposed, so I took it to Jesus. It was a long , very hard walk, but after a year, I felt that I had beat the addiction so went to the pastor. Instead of throwing me out, he told me that several men had recently been in to tell him that they were addicted, and with a tear in his eye he told me that I must share my story so that others could get set free.

It was in the mid eighties that I began doing men’s meetings, including many trips overseas, with a testimony that could bring the men to tears of repentance, but I didn’t have a way to walk with them through a complete healing.

Two years ago a pastor friend of mine introduced me to a dvd driven program, with a study guide, and a journal, and as much as I hate programs, I perused the production, and KNEW that I could use it as a tool for pastors, mens leaders, the body of Christ to help men walk in freedom.

I now lead a ministry to men in the body of Christ trapped in the addiction, conducting meetings in my home and in “off church campus ” facilities to draw men from any church, am always available for counselling, am aligning myself with a branch ministry of the A21 group, leading the “Not For Sale” group, am raising up and training other men to lead freedom groups, teaching the course wherever I am asked. I am seeing men walk in freedom, marriages restored, families being held together, legacies getting back on track. I have seen the need in the body of Christ, and it became my call.